But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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