he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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