you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
