Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
