I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
