Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
COCAINE IS GR8
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
