I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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