Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
