I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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