its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
