Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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