Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
