my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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