Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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