It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
