I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
vagina is talking i cant
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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