Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
