you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
