I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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