Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
