So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
