can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
