we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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