oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
