I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
