I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
