Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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