then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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