It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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