i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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