do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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