I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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