i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
