Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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