He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
