i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
