Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
