I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
