I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
