We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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