isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
