its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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