i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
