Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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