Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I understand Curling. That high.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
