I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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