can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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