Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
