Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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