Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
