he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
