we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
