You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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